Close Up

i am but
a speck

miserable
and small

a piddling novelty
of leftover crumbs

blown away
in a solitary
breath of air

but this body
is also made

of a thousand
dainty specks

even smaller
than this sad
stuff called me

a dress of
convoluted
little atoms

genes that
only fit me

connected
by stems
and ideas

ladders
of sweet
misery

teaching me
to fall in love
with myself

all over again

but even
in love
i am still

falling
down
rabbit
holes

burrows
of defeat

wondering
to myself:

when will
smallness
equate to

the endless
possibility

to grow?

Nikki Howard is a graduate from Wittenberg University. She lives in Ohio with her partner, six cats, and three-legged chihuahua.